I always cling to the idea of having you by my side. It happens when I’m completely alone; I drift into the world I created. This world where we can be happy forever.
But I don’t want to go back. Because leaving hurts less than hanging on.
Although there is no longer a “we,” I pick up the pieces in my mind and drift into another reality where we are still together.
I only allow myself to fantasize about these things that have never happened and will never happen until occasionally, when sadness invades my body, and I need to remember the feeling I had when I was with you.
And I allowed you to occupy my thoughts just a little bit because it helps me deal with reality. But I can’t get back to you. Clinging to something that will never happen hurts, but leaving hurts less.
Yet, I sometimes wonder how I could move forward in this life with your absence. How far would I go before I realized that you were my anchor and strength?
And how long could I endure this pain caused by your absence? We haven’t been together for a while now, and I still haven’t found a way to let you go completely.
Nothing can help me in my recovery.
But time is a powerful tool. He can be our worst enemy or our best friend. It is up to us to decide. And I finally take my time to get rid of you completely because I still feel your presence in me.
I can’t fully digest the fact that we’re no longer together, that you’re no longer part of my life when I left you in the first place.
It was I who gave myself to you; every piece of my soul belonged to you. And I knew you could destroy me emotionally. I knew it, but I learned to live with it.
I now understand that even if you know that you belong to someone and love them with all their heart, you can still be in a toxic relationship.
Most of the time, the person we love the most has the most significant power to poison us from within. Sometimes people change, and love fades, so they start hurting themselves instead of giving their greatest love.
Now I know that our love was not destined to last. And with every mistake, there is a lesson behind the pain.
I don’t know the message yet, but I know I don’t deserve a toxic partner. Someone who slowly breaks me and then leaves me as if I were nothing.
I say NO to these kinds of relationships, and I reject all those who are toxic.
I am my path, the path of discovering self-love. I learn to accept myself as I am, with all my flaws and eccentricities. And I don’t let anyone stand in my way.
I’ve seen too many mistakes repeat over and over again, so I can’t give our love another chance. I slowly accept that our love will remain a fantasy and an idea that I have created in my head. And that is how it should be.
I am sure that time will help me to erase you once and for all. And I’m also sure it will show me that leaving you turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
You’ve always claimed to be a man of action, but you’ve never proven it to me.
On the contrary, your words hurt me very badly and left scars on my soul. These scars will heal, but I will never come back to you again.
I know you can’t fix me. If I came back to you and tried to rekindle the old flame, I would only blame you for the rest of our lives.
Deep down, I would be remiss of you for everything that has happened and will happen, but that’s not love.
True love shouldn’t be like that.
True love is to be behind the other at all times, without any hesitation.
But you stabbed me in the back several times, and I foolishly forgave and gave you another chance again and again. You broke me. And you have no right to try to fix me.
You are part of my past now. I will not let the past take over and prevent myself from reaching my true potential.
I learned that I was more valuable than I thought, that I could achieve my dreams. And all this, I have realized without you in my life.
I still think of you when the sun sets, and the stars appear. However, I decided that you will stay there – in my head. I will not let any man destroy me as you did, never again.
You are a true example of everything I should never do. I will never treat someone like you did. I am much better than you, and I have finally understood it.
Even though you claimed to be an open book, your covers were difficult to decipher. And once I entered it, I read all the chapters of your personality and decided never to open or reread this book again.
You are not worth my time or effort. Instead, I focus on myself and my well-being. The ideal man will cherish a woman like me.