Yes, It Hurts, But Without You, I Will Be Better

Yes, It Hurts, But I Without You, I Will Be Better—And I am sure about that,

I have been all alone for some time now. You are no longer there to deceive me with your fake words and to hold me in your toxic arms. And, I don’t know why, but, as much as I hate you, I love you at the same time.

Often I catch myself thinking a lot about you, about the things we once had. I think of all those beautiful memories we had together, and I can’t help but tear up when I realize we won’t be together anymore.

That hurts bad… real bad, but it’s okay.

So, at a time of my madness, I get so angry with myself that I break all the things you bought me. In that way, I’m ruining all the memories that remind me of you.

Because, that’s what I have to do. Even though it hurts a lot, I have to erase you from my system. I need to get rid of your smell in me, your kisses on my body, your voice that still resonates in my head.

I need to prove to myself that I can live alone and that I don’t need you to complete myself.

Without You, I Will Be Better!

Because if I don’t, I’ll go crazy. I will totally lose my mind for a man who doesn’t even care about me. I will be lost by a man who didn’t even fight for me.

Because you were a coward, afraid to do at least that. When you saw that I was broken, it was easier to let me than to fix myself. But I swear I’ll be better off without you. Layer by layer, I will remove you from my skin. And one day, I will stop mentioning your name for sure.

Night after night, I will think less of you. Because truth be told, you don’t deserve me.

You never really did. But I was so blind to love that I thought I had enough love for both of us and that you would eventually wake up.

I thought you just needed some time to see all those amazing things about me that everyone else saw. But that moment never happened.

You never bothered to ask me what I thought. You had the power to make me feel bad just by saying a word. A single glance of yours ruined me all night.

And I felt like it was nothing. While I was everything. I was and still am a woman to love. So fuck you for not seeing that. Even if you try, you won’t convince me that I’m the one who can’t be loved.

Yes, It Hurts…

Well, maybe for you, but who are you to judge me? Don’t you see that you no longer have the right to tell me what to do? So don’t try to look for me because the girl you hurt no longer exists.

She died that night when you hurt her. Now he has transformed into a totally new person.

The one who doesn’t get so fond of it so easily and the one who doesn’t trust people as soon as they meet them. So do yourself a favor and get away from me.

I don’t want you in my life anymore. I don’t want your fake excuses, your fake words and your fake hugs. All of them had always been fake, even though it took me too long to realize that you were my worst decision.

You treated me like I was the smallest. I had to be for your affection, and love. You must have felt good seeing me doing that.

You humiliated me in front of myself, and that is the worst humiliation of all.

When you know you’re begging someone, you understand that doing that shouldn’t be an option, but you’re still surprised doing it.

And I did. With you, I hit rock bottom, but for you, that wasn’t enough. I know, your plan was to destroy me as a woman.  You always wanted to break my heart into pieces so small that I could never make my whole heart.

And I’d like to know what I did to you so you would want revenge that way. I don’t know what kind of sin I did to get this kind of treatment from you.

Yes, It Hurts, But Without You, I Will Be Better

And believe me,  I don’t even want to give a thought about it anymore. I know it will take me a long time to completely erase you from my life, but I will work on it every day.

And one day, when I least expect it, my heart will stop pronouncing your name.

One day I will get rid of you. I will finally accept that I am much better on my own and that I did the right thing by letting you go.

That day, I will learn to love myself. And that day will be the best of my life. When that happens, my knees won’t tremble every time I see you or hear your voice in the background.

My heart won’t start beating faster when you tell me that you miss me and that you’ve made a big mistake. I’m not going to give you the only thing you crave: me!

In fact, you are no longer important. This time I want to dedicate myself and the things I love. This time, I want to show you that I can shine without you and that I can be happy on my own.

And this time, I am going to make my world—my own again.