Why Does Love Hurt – Understanding The Dynamics ~ Why Does Love Hurt So Bad?
Love is painful because it creates joy; love is painful because it transforms; love is a mutation. Every transformation will be painful because you have to leave the old for the new.
The old is familiar and safe; the new is absolutely unknown; you’ll be moving in an unknown sea. With the new, you can’t use your mind; the reason is skillful with the old.
The mind can only work with the old; the new mind is entirely useless.
Why Does It Hurt So Much When You Love Someone
From this comes fear and pain arises by leaving the old world, safe and comfortable, the world of convenience; it is the same pain that the child feels when it comes out of the mother’s womb.
It is the same pain that the bird feels when it comes out of the egg; it’s the same pain the bird feels when it tries to fly for the first time.
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Why Does Love Hurt?
The fear of the unknown, the security of the known, and the unknown’s insecurity, the unpredictable of the unknown, makes one very frightened, and the agony is very profound because the transformation will be from the self to the state of non-me.
But you can’t have ecstasy without going through suffering; the gold that wants to be purified has to go through the fire.
Love is a fire. Because of the pain of love, millions of people live a life without love. They also suffer, and their suffering is useless.
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Love Is Very Painful
To suffer in love is not to suffer in vain. Suffering in love is creative, leading you to higher levels of consciousness.
Suffering without love is a complete waste of time; it doesn’t lead you anywhere; it keeps you moving in the same vicious circle.
The loveless man is selfish; he is closed, he only knows of himself, and how much can he know of himself if he has not met the other?
Because only the other can function as a mirror. You’ll never know yourself without knowing each other.
Love is also fundamental to self-know-how. Those who have not met another in deep love, in intense passion, in complete ecstasy, will not be able to know who he is because he will not have the mirror in which to see his reflection.
A relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love, the higher the passion, the better the mirror, the lighter the mirror.
But higher love requires you to be open; tall love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to abandon your armor, and that’s painful; you don’t have to be always on your guard.
You have to leave your calculating mind. You have to take a chance; you have to live dangerously.
The other can hurt you: that’s the fear of being vulnerable.
The other can reject you: that’s the fear of being in love.
The reflection of your self you’ll find in each other can be horrible: that’s anxiety. You avoid the mirror. But to avoid the mirror, you won’t become beautiful.
Nor will you grow up because you avoid the situation. It would help if you took the challenge.
That is the first step towards God, and it cannot be overlooked. Those who try to ignore the passage of love will never come to God; this is absolutely necessary.
You become aware of your whole only when you are provoked by the presence of the other, when your company is intensified by the presence of the other when you are taken out of your selfish and closed world and brought to the open sky.
- Is Love Worth The Pain
To be in love is to be in flight, but certainly, the sky without borders creates fear; and abandoning the ego is very painful because we have been taught to cultivate the ego.
We think ego is our only treasure. We’ve been protecting him, we’ve been decorating it, we’ve been polishing it all the time, and when love knocks on our door, all it takes to fall in love is to put aside the ego that is, by the way, painful.
It’s the work of your whole life; it’s all you’ve created, this ugly ego, this idea that I’m separated from existence.
This idea is ugly because it is false; this idea is illusory, but our society is based on this idea that every person is a person and not a presence.
The truth is that there is no person in the world: there are only presences; you are part of it at all. The whole penetrates you; the full breaths in you beat in you; the whole is your life.
Love gives you the first experience of being in tune with something that’s not your ego. Love gives you the first lesson that you can be in harmony with something that has never been part of your ego.
If you can be in harmony with a woman if you can connect with a friend, a man, your child, or your mother, why can’t you be in harmony with all human beings?
It is associated with one person who brings such joy; what will be the result of being in harmony with all human beings?
If you can connect with all humans, why can’t you join with animals, birds, and trees? Then one step leads to another.
- Love Is Painful, But Beautiful
Love is a ladder: it starts with a person; it ends with the whole. Love is the beginning, and God is the end.
To be afraid of love, to be scared of the growth of attachment is to remain locked in a dark cell; the modern man is living in a dark cell; he is narcissistic; narcissism is the great obsession of the modern mind.
Then there are problems, nonsense problems. Some issues are creative because they lead you to a more extraordinary account.
Some problems don’t get you anywhere; they just keep you locked up, tied to your old mess.
Love is the only thing that’s worth it, and everything else is secondary.
If it helps the pet, it’s okay. Everything else is just a means; love is an end. So whatever the pain, invest in love.
If you don’t get into love, as so many people have decided, you’ll be stuck with yourself. Your life is not a pilgrimage, then your life is not a river that goes to the ocean, your life is a stagnant, dirty puddle, and soon there will be nothing but dirt and mud.
To keep you clean, you need to flow continuously. A river remains clean because it flows always. Sailing is the process of continually remaining untouched.
A lover is still a virgin. All lovers are virgins.
People who do not love cannot remain a virgin; they become dormant, stagnant; sooner or later, and sooner rather than later, they start smelling bad because they have nowhere to go. His life is dead.
Here is the modern man, and because of this, all kinds of neurosis, all sorts of follies, have become rampant.
The psychological disease has taken on epidemic proportions. It is no longer than a few individuals are psychologically ill; the reality is that the whole Earth has become an asylum. All humanity is suffering from some neurosis.
That neurosis comes from your narcissistic stagnation. They are all stuck with their illusion of having a separate self; then people go crazy, and this madness doesn’t make sense, it’s not creative, it’s unproductive, or people start killing themselves.
These suicides are also useless, not creative.
You may not kill yourself by poisoning yourself, or jumping into an abyss, or shooting yourself, but you can commit suicide.
That’s a slow process. Very few people suddenly commit suicide. Others have chosen a slow suicide; they die gradually, very slowly. But the tendency to suicide has become almost universal.
This is no way to live. The fundamental reason is that we have forgotten the language of love; we no longer have enough courage to enter that adventure called love.
So people are interested in sex because sex is not risky; it’s momentary; you don’t get involved. Love is getting involved, getting engaged.
It’s not brief. Once you take root, it can be forever; it can be getting involved for life. Love needs intimacy, and only when you’re intimate does the other become a mirror.
When you encounter a woman or a man sexually, you have not met at all; in fact, you’ve avoided the other person’s soul.
You just used his body and escaped, and the other one used your body and ran. They never became intimate enough to reveal each other’s original face.
- Why Does Love Hurt So Much
It’s painful, but don’t avoid it. If you prevent it, you’ve avoided the most excellent chance of growing up. He enters it, suffers love because great ecstasy comes through suffering.
There is agony, yes, but joy is born from hell. Yes, you’ll have to die like an ego, but if you die like an ego, you’ll be paid a great human being.
Take Care, So Long!