Things To Do When You Decide To Stay With A Cheat
There are certain things you must know and follow to safeguard yourself when you decide to stay with a cheat.
Sometimes it is very difficult to take a firm decision in life. It happens when you are actually either shocked or because you are yet not sure what has happened, you cant decide what to do?
At that time, nothing comes into your mind and heart.
This is the moment when you do not fully understand what to do? When your partner cheats on you, and you have to take the call, whether you want to forgive them and look ahead or just kick them out of your life, you might be in a status of mind where you cant decide.
In case, even after being cheated, you still want a cheat to be your life partner, you have every right to go for it, and my opinion doesnt and shouldnt matter to you.
But may I please share a few things with you if you already have decided to stay with a cheat?
When You Decide To Stay With A Cheat
Forgive & Forget
The past cant be changed. Past is gone; you cant reverse it. So the best thing to do is to live for the present and future.
You decided to live with that partner, who had cheated on you, so you need to forget that part and forgive them.
In case their cheating on you is something you cant take at all, and you are losing your peace of mind, then go for the right step, and break up your relationship.
But if you want to be with that cheat for any good reason (known to you only), then forgive them from the core of your heart.
There is no point in forgiving them if you have to make fights and let them hear your sarcastic comments over trust and love, relationships, and cheatings.
You cant live with someone who you constantly look at as a criminal and a serious offender and be happy with them. So you need to forgive and forget everything about that cheating.
Staying with someone who has cheated on you just because you two have kids together is nonsense.
You stay together with people who you love and who loves you back. Stay with people who dedicate themselves to the relationship and do that every possible thing that makes you happy.
Dont play on the kid theory and act like a mature person.
Once you have forgiven them, give them another chance to prove that they have changed. They might change for a better future with you; they might become completely loyal to you.
You never know whats stored in the future. So once you have decided to live with the person, who has broken your trust and shattered your love, give them some time to make things right.
Accept whatever happened
Since you have decided to give another chance to the person who has cheated on you, its a must that you move on from his fault by accepting and forgetting what they have done.
When you decided to stay with them even after being cheated, you gave them a message that how much you love them.
Hope for the best that this message works for your partner, and they regret what they have done to you. This might motivate them to change completely, and they might become loyal partners forever.
Now, if you ask me if I could forget and forgive, my honest answer will be a big NO. But some people have done that.
So you need not worry about the decision of staying with a cheat. The biggest drawback of living with a cheat is, they might again cheat on you and think that you will forgive them again.
The second major concern is that even if they dont cheat again, you will constantly be under anxiety about doing the same thing again.
Whatever they do, you will be vigilant and suspicious of their actions. You will watch every action of theirs as a sharp detective.
In short, you wont have peace of mind, and thats not good for you and the relationship. Your forgiving them might get considered as your weakness by them. But who cares if you really love them that much. Isnt it?
Also, Read 9 Signs Your Partner Will Cheat You Again
In case they cheat you again, and since you love them so very much, please dont hate yourself by forgiving them for the second time. Mark the pattern in their character, kick them out of your life, and move on.
Gaining your trust back
Once the glass is broken, you cant fix it. The same goes for trust. Once lost cant be regained. But since your love for the person who has cheated on you is immense, you have given them a chance to rebuild that trust
But it is not going to be easy. It wont happen overnight. It will take time.
They kicked your relationship; they broke your trust. They didnt bother even to think about how you would feel when you come to know that, and now, when you live with the same person, it will be tough to trust them again.
Nevertheless, your love for them might help you to rebuild the trust slowly. Your messed up emotional level needs time to heal up.
All your patience and love for them will surely help you in a great way to recover from that trauma of being cheated.
Please Also Read, Why People Cheat
When someone cheats on you, there are many messages which they give you with their action.
- I dont care for you.
- You are unworthy.
- I dont love you.
- I dont want to be with you.
- I can/will do it again.
Because of your blind love for them, you might start blaming yourself for what they have done to you.
That actually will be a fake attempt to make your heart and mind understand that everything will be OK and they wont do it again.
Please dont do that unless and until there are some major compulsions to stay with a cheat.
Once you decided that you will stay with that cheat, give them time to prove their worth in your life and time to make things correct in the relationship.
Allow them to regain your trust and let them earn that with their actions and not just with words.
My Final Words
My suggestions and my way of looking into things, especially when it comes to cheating, might be completely irrelevant.
You even need not worry about anyones views. But since its your life, listen to your mind first. Most of the time, we dont listen to our minds, even when they speak loud.
We go with our hearts and ultimately pay heavily for avoiding the inner voice of our minds.
If you have decided not to stay with a cheat, thats the best step you have taken, and in case you are going to stay with a cheat, I wish you all the best from all my heart.
Stay Safe and Stay Healthy.