Goodbye, my love: this time, I’m saying goodbye for good!
Honestly, I always thought I was a good judge of character. Indeed, I was convinced that I could detect liars, manipulators, and false people.
In short, I boasted about distinguishing honest people from toxic people. Clearly, I was wrong…
Why was I wrong? Simply because I got screwed! I jumped into the trap of a manipulator. In your trap…
I did not see your insidious and ingenious tactics coming. You fooled me! Your approach was so gentle, calm, and smart that I didn’t even understand what was going on.
Besides, it was already way too late when I came out of my lethargy. You completely destroyed me. You broke my heart into a thousand pieces when I was convinced that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.
I really thought that you loved me sincerely and that what we shared was unique. I suffered, healed, and learned. Then I managed to say goodbye to the past.
I was able to move forward. Moreover, I even managed to repel the thoughts that continued to creep into the moments immediately following the farewell (the “what if…”).
But you were stronger than I thought. You were also much more toxic than I had imagined. Every time I decided to walk away from you or leave you, you always managed to find your way back.
As soon as I felt like I had finally drawn a line on our history, you came back like a snake watching over its prey.
In short, when I finally managed to say “Goodbye” and made the decision to turn my back permanently, you found an effective way to get back into my life.
Did I give you too much of the benefit of the doubt? Do I have an overly charitable and tender heart? I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that I was constantly falling for it.
Manipulation after manipulation. Lie after lie. False promise after false promise. My harsh reality is that I never managed to say “Stop” to manipulation.
You need me… You regret your behavior… And you are sorry to have lost a woman as tolerant, gentle, and understanding as I am…
I always found excuses to accept you back in my life. But I still didn’t understand the extent of your narcissism.
You told me that you loved me, that I complimented you, and that you wanted me more than anything. So I trusted you (again) with my eyes closed.
Then you were lying again… You were manipulating… And the cycle was repeated. The vicious circle never stopped.
When we close the chapter of the relationship, it is not always as easy as we think. And all because of the good memories.
We lived a part of our lives with this person, shared stories, difficulties, triumphs, secrets, and affection.
And if we cared about that person, it’s hard to say “Goodbye” and erase all the memories of our memory.
And it is even more difficult to honestly think that this “Goodbye” will be definitive.
For a long time, I fought against that. For me, it was almost instinctive to give a second or even a third chance. Especially to you…
Then I had a revelation. Every thought, every idea, even every doubt was finally aligned. I was sitting in my chair in front of my television.
I drank my fourth glass of wine and lamented my fate alone. What could I have done to deserve such behavior on your part?
And, at that very moment, I got tired of feeling sorry for myself. I decided I was tired of being emotionally tired.
I was tired of being manipulated, being lying to me, and hurting me. So I decided to take over my life. I gained clarity and understood the reality of my situation.
One can’t force relationships, and when you are the one who always works to make them work, you end up suffering from exhaustion.
You end up getting emotionally empty! But I knew that “Goodbye” was different. This one was going to be final!
The “Goodbye” is not necessarily pronounced aloud.
Here is the truth about “Goodbye”: you don’t have to express them orally. Sometimes a “Goodbye” is simply to leave, close the door and never turn around again.
In fact, for me, that was the most powerful thing. Just walk away, cut off contact, be vague and not react.
But be careful! Don’t confuse this with ghosting! Here, it’s about getting away from a situation that is toxic to you.
Remember that while it’s hard to say “Goodbye” to someone you love, you lose a part of yourself by allowing them to abuse you.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself, and no one is worth compromising it for that.
So I made the conscious choice not to get lost for someone who doesn’t deserve me. My well-being is far more important than the false love you have for me.
I refuse to get lost for you… I refuse to turn my back on my happiness. So here I am, saying, “Goodbye.” But… For good, this time!