The 8 Stages of Grieving a Breakup ~ The Ultimate Guide
Even if we don’t want it, we all go through different stages of the breakup. In each of them, there are other feelings, and the emotions are full of skin. But they’re necessary to get ahead!
When we finish a relationship, we go through different stages, some more noticeable or lasting than others.
It will depend on how long we want to stay in them or what we do to overcome each of those stages of the breakup. Overcoming a breakup is not an easy task.
We can have good days and others not so much, think that we will never be happy again or do everything we can to get ahead.
Even if a relationship is over, that doesn’t mean love dies. That’s when depression appears, and we have to get energy out of it to continue.
Leaving behind everything we’ve lived is not easy. Accept that new situation, either. Emotional pain can sometimes be more devastating than physical pain.
And we must also keep in mind that relapses or ups and downs are common.
In short, the decoration is not a ‘linear’ process. Let’s see what stages of the breakup we have to go through. That way, we’ll know where we are and how long we have left to go.
The 8 Stages Of Grieving A Breakup
1. Loss, the first phase of the breakup
Whether you decide to break the relationship or not, the truth is that loss is the first thing you experience.
In addition to it, we can also find the surprise, which appears when we did not expect the bad news that ‘we have been left.’
In the first stage of the breakup, we do not understand the situation very well. We have a hard time adjusting to these abrupt changes, and we make the mistake of begging the (ex) partner not to leave us. But the pleas won’t change someone’s mind, and if so, it will be just out of pity or guilt.
2. Denial
A non-acceptance of reality characterizes the second phase of the breakup. The person denies what happened and acts as if nothing has changed, that is, that she is still in a couple.
For example, you can speak in the plural, make plans with your boyfriend, not remove the photographs from the room, and not tell anyone that you no longer live with your partner.
This is the denial phase’s primary error because even when others know the news, the person involved does not accept it.
3. Hopelessness and isolation
We could say that this third stage is one of the most painful because it begins when we realize reality. And not only that, but it is also characterized by not wanting to go anywhere, locking ourselves in, and not asking for help.
There’s more because hopelessness comes under different ideas: “You’ll never want to be with me anymore,” “no one will love me,” “it’s impossible for me to find someone better,” “I’ll never fall in love,” they’re the most frequent.
4. Ira
At this stage, we have quite negative and strong feelings towards the person who has abandoned us.
We hate him with all the strength, we can’t hear about him, and everything that reminds us of our ex generates an uncontrollable rage.
Also, you feel an incredible frustration at what happened; you blame the other for the breakup, you can even think of vengeance. And worst of all, anger is directed towards those around us.
5. Negotiation
It is imperative to be careful with the fifth phase of the breakup, as it can be quite dangerous. Right now, we’re trying to get close to our ex, we do anything to make him think again, and we set aside our self-love or pride in achieving it.
6. Anxiety and depression
Before that, the breakup stages are not linear, but rather as an ‘up and down’ or a roller coaster of emotions.
Therefore, having felt the most incredible rage in the world, we now feel distressed and anxious.
We say and fervently believe that the person who left us was perfect; we remember the good things of the relationship and everything beautiful that we have lived next to it.
Anxiety is reflected in our behavior: maybe we eat more than before, we bite our nails, we have a hard time sleeping…
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Or there is such severe depression that harmful emotion can lead us to act in unexpected ways. This is when we lose hope of getting our ex-partner back and realize there’s no turning back. Crying and anguish are more substantial at this stage.
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7. Acceptance
Having gone through sadness and depression, we realize that time has dealt with the situation. As popularly said, “to breastfeed the bullets” and move on.
Very slowly, we accept that the relationship is over and that although it hurts, it is essential to raise our heads and think about the future.
We no longer seek to be with that person; we feel a little calmer, and our mind is clear.
Take advantage of this moody send to do what you like, do everything you couldn’t do while you were in a couple, look for hobbies, meet new people, and take classes… It improves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
8. Overcoming
The last phase of the breakup begins when we are ready to remake our lives, either alone or with someone else. It’s time to analyze the past mistakes so as not to repeat them and determine what we want from now on.