Reasons Why Your Partner Had An Online Affair
When you discover that your partner is having an affair, it upsets you. And when you see that it is an online affair that not only makes you confused but also raises many questions.
Some people don’t consider online cheating to be infidelity, so you might take that lightly. You may wonder if it is real infidelity, why they go for an online affair when you were there for them, and what attracts them to have a virtual affair?
You might also wonder whether an online affair is a sign of sex addiction to your partner or it’s just normal and can be ignored.
According to a survey:
46% of males believe that online affairs are clearly infidelity. 75% of males have no hesitation to visit an adult site. 80% believe it is OK to talk with a stranger of the opposite sex.
Online affairs are one of the main reasons for divorces in the USA.
The survey also confirms that 70% of the time on-line activity is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; these conversations, are mostly romantic in nature.
Because of the affordability, anonymity, and accessibility of online sexual resources, the computer/mobile accelerates the transition from “risky” to “addicted,” as well as the progression of sex addiction in those who have a history of prior sexual compulsivity.
A little dissatisfaction in the present relationship easily pushes people to the Internet to find someone who suits their fantasy.
Around 10 % of Internet users become addicted to online sex.
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, which conducted a study, states – Spouses who get hooked on Online porn are a growing complaint among spouses filing for divorce. This study included 350 divorce attorneys.
57% of people use the Internet to flirt with the opposite gender.
38% of people accepted that they are engaged in explicit online sexual interaction and 50% of people have contacted through a phone with someone they met and chatted with online.
There is a big jump in the number of couples who are affected by cybersex infidelity. Online affairs might be difficult to understand and explain for partners and the therapists they work with.
Normally first of all you would like to get full disclosure from your cheating spouse with the hope of understanding why they did so?
From the moment, you discovered your partner/spouse’s cheating online and understanding the reasons for their online cheating, is a long process and it takes time.
How An Online Affair Starts: A Typical Scenario Of How Online Affairs Progresses
People spend more time Online. Online conversations offer an escape from the hard realities of normal living.
The fantasy world of online makes the realities of life boring and dull. People start to explore the potential of newness in the fantasy world of “Online affairs”.
People meet someone online, who they find interesting; they share their fears, fantasies, and expectations.
The attachment gradually becomes strong, and people come closer to each other. Now it’s time for being more than online friends.
They become infatuated with their online “friend” and look for more conversation and time with them.
Though fake and false, it feels like love. By this time, their partner can see the changes and senses something is wrong. When asked, people deny and justify their online activity without any hesitation.
The partner who is suspicious feels threaded and goes through insecurity that is ignored by the person who is involved in the online activity.
The cheating person denies the impact their cheating is having on their partner. The cheat tells themselves that, since there is no sex involved, it should not matter and should not affect their spouse/partner.
People slowly go away from their real-life partner/spouse and go closer to their online “friend”. And now they want to meet them in person.
They feel like they have got the person, who is their soul mate. These people risk seeing their online “soul-mate” in person.
They meet and get engaged in sex and find it adventurous. Their life has been changed in ways you never intended. Their online relationship ends—and their “real” one may end as well.
Reasons That Push People For An Online Affair:
It Offers Anonymity: People find online affairs easy to hide from their partners in real life. These online affairs allow people who are already in a relationship to seek out affairs without their partners knowing their real-life identity.
They can easily hide behind a screen name and use a fake image, creating a new identity. There is no risk of being easily identified by any friend, neighbor, or your partner.
Meeting through an app or in a chat room hides the human aspects of meeting someone, such as body language, facial expression, and even physical appearance.
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It Is Convenient: Online affairs by nature are easy to initiate, as there is a wide range of apps, chat rooms, and portals set up for this specific cause.
Smartphones have made the technology even more flexible, as now more people can access the Internet without paying any extra amount, from anywhere, at any time of day.
Initial curiosity rapidly escalates into an online affair and there is no looking back from there.
Feeling Of Escape: People who choose to have an online affair rather than an in-person affair rationalizes that it is not an affair.
They have the logic of not meeting them in person, and may even live on opposite sides of the world.
It feels like an escape from the reality of their relationships and activities in their real-world, operating far more in the world of fantasy.
The excitement of online affair has more to do with the “type” of attachment than to the specific feelings about a “real” individual.
You will agree that, in any new relationship (online or real life), people present the best sides of themselves; most of the characteristics remain hidden and the whole person functioning in the real world never gets reflected in an online affair.
Whatever loss they feel after the end of the “Online Affair” is the loss of a “fantasy attachment,” not the real thing. This ‘loss’, doesn’t stop them from looking and developing another online attachment.
The sense and feel of an online affair produce some great experience for these people, but all these don’t last long.
Does Online Affair Last?
Most of the online affairs are short-lived, but there is no shortage of partners with whom one can start a new virtual affair.
Some people maintain many online affairs with many people at the same time. Some people become addicted to online affairs in the same way they might get addicted to other human behaviors.
People, who seek online sexual attachment, should seek help if they want to improve and do well in their relationship/marriage.
Online Affairs often destroy real relationships, though this was not the initial intention, of the person, who started their online affair.
Many people come out saying, “It was nothing serious, I didn’t mean to have an affair”, all these are lame excuses and nothing else.
Most of the people know what they are going to do and how that will make an impact on their relationships, and still, they go for online affairs.
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People going for an online affair, while already being in a real relationship; end up with less. They lose the online fantasy partner and their real-life partner too.
So, it’s not just a question of whether it’s wrong, or smart, it’s more than that. When these people look for something more in life and exploring life in a better way, they can go for other ways and methods also to do the same, in a positive way.
The attraction of online affairs can fill in all of our lives as a sign to rethink and find out what might be done to feel more “alive” that is practical and real (rather than the fantasy world of the online affair); and doesn’t cost such a high cost, where people lose everything in their real life.
Keep Cool & Stay Safe