Moving Forward – When You Can’t Forget Your Ex. Here are 5 Steps to make it possible.
I can’t forget him, why? Do I have to contact him again or draw a definitive line on our history?
These are questions that many women are asking themselves. Indeed, when the time of breakup arrives, emotions contradict each other. It is not clear what to think.
If the romantic relationship didn’t work, there’s a reason. Sometimes this reason is as apparent as rock water. Other times, not so much!
Yes, blinded by love, it may be difficult to understand why our couple is so miserably destroyed. Yet the reasons are still there.
They are even in full view, but we choose to ignore them. And in this fanciful disillusionment, one wonders what happened and why we can not forget a person we loved.
Why can’t we forget someone we loved? Simply because many memories unite us.
Without making generalities, I think we can still say that women are more involved than men in their romantic relationship. That’s why they suffer a lot more when the couple comes to an end.
In reality, what makes us suffer is not so much separation. Of course, you have to live a new life without the person you used to have by your side.
In the morning, when we get up, we drink coffee alone. In the evening, we go to bed alone in a cold bed, and we have no one by our side to watch movies or series.
Thus, silence and calm set in, and this can be difficult to manage. Especially when you’re still in love with your ex, and you’re struggling to heal your emotional wounds.
Yet what hurts the most are the memories.
Indeed, when you happen to dream of your ex or to have fears related to his absence, it is because an unforgettable memory haunts you.
This memory can be positive or negative, filled with joy or sadness. But when you are in the healing phase of a breakup, that memory is usually upbeat.
Indeed, you remember, for example, a weekend in love you spent in the country or, passing a grocery store, you remember the cake he had given you for your birthday.
So, forgetting someone you loved becomes extremely difficult. It even becomes a painful experience.
Indeed, when positive memories beset you, you lose sight of the reasons that caused your breakup. For example, you sometimes forget that your partner was never present for you, that he was emotionally abusive or even that he was unfaithful.
In short, in your mind, pain turns all the positive experiences you’ve had together into treasure and stores all the bad memories in a part of your brain that you no longer have access to.
That’s why you can’t forget someone you loved.
You then think that forgetting it is impossible. Yet this feeling has nothing to do with him…
Memories are interconnected; one leads to the other one, which leads to another. And before you even realize what’s going on, your ex is all you can think about.
No matter how long it is, the memories are always there, sabotaging your happiness and self-esteem. Forgetting it then becomes mission impossible.
Thoughts about him permeate every nook and cran at your mental health, and you feel like you’ll think only of him.
But it’s not about him! And that’s where things get interesting. We mourn this break during the first few weeks or months.
Of course! After all, we loved this man, and this loss hurts us very much! But after a few months, you’ve come over all of this. The hauntings you have from now on do not concern him. They’re about you!
Why can’t we forget someone who has hurt us? Simply because, by losing it, we also got lost.
You see, when we’re in a relationship, we align our routines, our hopes and our dreams into our nervous system. Like a spider weaving a silk web!
We turn one dream around another and throw a lifeline around a routine that gives us hope that more of our dreams will come true with our man.
Now that he’s gone, what you miss are your dreams.
Losing a man is painful, but losing your dreams that revolved around this man and this relationship is devastating. So much so that deciding to forget your ex can become synonymous with abandoning your dreams.
But there’s no point in making a list of everything you’ve lost. If you start listing everything that makes that breakup difficult and everything you need to change or adjust because of it, you will end up depressed.
So, during your recovery, you must not only try to forget your ex, but you must also find new dreams and new goals.
By staying positive and looking forward, you can finally forget your ex and build a new, even brighter future.
Make a firm decision: run after your ex or forget it altogether?
For some people, thinking about her ex means that the feelings that once bound them have not disappeared.
For others, forgetting your ex is impossible simply because they are not ready to enter into a new romantic relationship.
In love, it is essential not to have any regrets, and the fact that you have separated one or more times in the past does not necessarily mean that everything is over between you.
You could have reconciled only if your problems were not insurmountable. After all, you may be meant for each other.
So it’s not about putting your story aside too quickly and forgetting your ex. But taking the time to ask yourself the right questions about whether winning back love is really what you want and especially how to do it.
To live a complete love story and know its full potential, we must also know how to give it a second chance and not focus solely on the problems.
So, rather than saying “I can’t forget it,” it’s sometimes better to focus on finding it to create new memories and not be constantly stuck in the past.
That said, if you’ve made a firm decision to move forward, then you’ve chosen to do your best to forget your ex. And honestly, I congratulate you on that.
Forget my ex! It’s decided…
You have suffered this breakup, your pride prevents you from coming back, you do not want to relive the same problems, and it is pretty normal to want to experience something new.
That said, did you find your baby while spending your days on the couch? Certainly not! Well, the process to forget it isn’t there either.
It will help if you put concrete actions to regain a taste for life and rebuild a social circle, not spend your time thinking about your ex.
By spending time with your loved ones, by living new experiences, you will be able to move forward and no longer suffer from the end of this love story. Forgetting it won’t be easy, but it will be cathartic!
Because it’s not so much thinking about your ex that’s hard to live with. No, it is to accept the suffering of separation.
By implementing the proper techniques and focusing on your personal development, you will maximize your chances of no longer suffering from this heartache that pains you every day!
Finding the moral strength to move forward after a separation is not given to everyone; that’s why you can’t forget a person even if they made us suffer.
If you can’t foget them, then you need a plan to work on.
On the one hand, I want to say that there is nothing simpler than forgetting a man. Indeed, there are 5 steps you need to follow. And if you respect every piece of advice, you will be able to forget the man who made you suffer.
But, in practice, we all know that it’s not that simple. When the heart and mind are not on the same wavelength, your desire to forget your ex may get lost in the whirlwind of emotions.
However, I assure you that you will overcome this harrowing ordeal if you have the will to move on.
When You Can’t Forget Your Ex?
Follow these 5 tips, and you’ll be able to forget your ex.
1. Rebuilding emotionally
Loving someone as much as you can’t forget has, at least, taught you something. It shows your vulnerability and how much you need to rebuild yourself emotionally.
And there’s an excellent way to do it: give your affection to the things or people that matter, for example, by focusing on your passions or spending more time with friends or family.
You can also devote yourself to charitable activities or adopt a dog/cat and cuddle it as much as you like.
In short, express your love in another way. This will let you rebalance your emotions and your ability to love.
This gradual construction will make it easier for you to forget the man who harmed you. We are often different when it becomes difficult to forget a past love.
But when you learn to love other people in a friendly or family way, this exclusivity decreases and allows you to love less obsessively.
Find new places to go out and meet new people to enrich your activities and broaden your perspective.
Meeting new people will be very beneficial, and you will immediately feel good; it may even allow you to meet someone else with the potential for a new love story.
2. Go out to meet new people
After a breakup (sudden or anticipated), there is no question of staying locked up at home! Get out of your bubble and open up to the outside world. You will undoubtedly meet new people, and you may even find love.
Do not rule out any possibility because your heart is hurt, and the image of your ex haunts your mind. If your best friend offers to go out for the weekend, don’t refuse.
Even if you feel depressed and tired, this is the best way to change your mind.
And if you really can’t go out with your friends, invite them to your house. Surround yourself with trusted people who will listen to and support you.
You can explain your concerns to them in all sincerity. The importance and interest of a person who can listen and comfort or reassure should never be overlooked.
3. Cut links
Before you even start personal work to forget your ex, you have to go through the most critical step: cut ALL ties.
Please remove it from your contact list and stop tracking all his actions on social media. The less contact there is between you, the more likely it is to forget about this person quickly.
The period of radio silence is critical in the process that will allow you to forget your ex because it allows you to step back and put things in perspective.
But what is this method? It’s just a matter of not having any more contact with your ex!
You must delete their number, block it on all social networks and avoid frequenting your usual places (workplace, sports club, favourite bars or nightclubs, etc.).
It’s actually about giving both of you time to recover from the breakup. This period, although temporary, should allow you to return to a normal rhythm of life and heal your wounds.
You can gradually forget your ex and turn the page to make a fresh start. It is simply a matter of thinking and taking distance to find a minimum of objectivity.
It is also a way of revisiting the dysfunctions of the couple and the causes of its failure.
4. Take your time
Patience is your best ally. Give yourself time to heal. Even if you follow all our advice in the letter, the changes will not happen overnight.
There will undoubtedly be ups and downs, moments of depression and days of euphoria. But with each passing day, you will lead more to permanent healing.
The most important thing is not to give up or guard. If you want to forget your ex, you have to fight and stay strong until your goal is reached.
In addition, you should not compare your healing process to that of someone else. Each person is unique, and each love story is different.
So don’t be fooled by the way others have survived this painful period. Sometimes it’s just a façade.
You have to be patient, but not only… You have to be lucid. Indeed, some people lie about their healing process.
They do this not out of malice but because they try to protect themselves or hide their faces. No one can forget his ex in a week. No one!
5. Find an alternative to mind
You may not know it, but you can control your mind and make it see things differently. Why can’t we forget someone we loved?
Because our mind decided so! He dictates his law to us. But you can and should reverse this process. Try to divert your attention on other things.
In practical terms, stop looking nostalgically at photos of an ancient past. Make an effort to push your thinking elsewhere when it starts to move towards the person you loved.
Stop watching the shows you were watching with your baby. Don’t regularly visit these places that remind you of your past love.
In short, make sure that your mind is moving less and less towards this loved one. Slowly, you will realize that it is possible to forget your ex.
What is certain is that we should not be confined to ourselves and hope that it will pass over time.