Finding your soul mate is probably the most beautiful encounter of a lifetime. It’s like an awakening, a real rebirth.
But can you really spend your whole life with your soul mate? I think the answer is no. That would be too intense, too painful.
If soul mates enter our lives, it is to reveal something to us. Put us face to face with another facet of ourselves.
Once that mission is fulfilled, they leave. A soul mate aims to shake us, to put us in front of reality, our blockages and our addictions, to break our hearts so that the light can enter it again, to push us to despair so that we find the courage to transform our life…
Letter To The Man I Thought Was The Man Of My Life
Our hearts were packed.
I fell in love with you as one sinks into sleep: gently and then violently. I couldn’t say exactly when it happened…
Somewhere between that moment when I first met your gaze and the moment when I wiped my tears, realizing that what we had taken years to build had just collapsed. I gave myself entirely to you, and I never regretted it.
I opened my heart, allowed you to meet him and then gave it to you without concession. We weren’t just “together”…
We lived together, in every sense of the word. We were two children discovering the world around them for the first time. Being with you has allowed me to relearn the beauty of life and has changed me forever.
But our minds did not follow…
We were complex and tortured. Our minds were thirsty to learn, thirsty to think, thirsty to analyze and dissect everything.
And we got to a point where we were complicating any life experience. Everything was getting difficult.
We argued a lot. We went through difficult times, and my anger against you was only fuelled by the passion and intensity that burned in me.
I cared so much about you. I loved you so much. I loved everything. I especially liked being the only one to whom you showed so many remote parts of you. You gave me everything, I know.
I wiped away your tears as you told me about your family problems. I have never liked anything more than holding your hand in difficult times and whispering words of comfort in your ear.
I knew you weren’t destroyed, and you would get up. I loved the forms of your thought as I loved your ramblings. The least of your imperfections was perfect in my eyes.
If I contradicted you, it was out of love.
I have contradicted you a lot and questioned you. It was not easy; I did not say yes to everything. It’s not my kind. But it is because my only desire was to surpass myself and reveal the best in you.
I had big dreams for you; I saw you achieve great things. I’ve never been able to bear that you get less than you really deserve.
I never allowed you to give up or give only the minimum. Whether in life in general or concerning our couple. I was demanding because I knew you were much better than that.
You broke my heart.
But shortly after our love story began, things turned up. The sparks burned us, leaving us in confusion.
However, we wanted with all our hearts to find a solution… But we couldn’t find it; there wasn’t one.
I just don’t think you were ready. Your past, your demons, your anxieties that initially prevented me from approaching ended up pushing me away. You loved me more than anyone else, but you weren’t ready. And believe me, nothing has ever been harder to accept.
I understood that I had to let you go. Because only you can do the right thing, I can’t force you to be ready; no one can.
But I want to thank you.
There are many things for which I have never thanked you. I thought I could never live without you. But my heart started beating again, and the light was able to enter it again.
I was filled with despair and had no choice but to transform my life. Which I did, despite all the difficulties.
I thought you were the man of my life, but this one decided otherwise. This does not mean that I have stopped loving you; on the contrary. When you give your heart to someone, they keep it forever.
I was angry and gnawed by pain. All these emotions were slowly consuming me. I then realized that our love was not of those who merge two beings into one but of those who offer a new life.
I have learned so many lessons from this, and I do not regret anything, not for a single second.