It’s time for you to leave him and forgive yourself.
I know it’s probably hard to admit, but maybe if someone you don’t know tells you, you’ll listen: stop sacrificing your absolute happiness to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
You realize you’re in a bad relationship, don’t you? Deep down, your gut tells you you have the right to better. You realized you couldn’t stay with him any longer.
But for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to leave him.
An absurd and unnecessary sacrifice that only pushes back the deadline. Oh, yes, I know, you love it. You’re willing to fight for him, to keep sacrificing yourself for him. Everything, you are ready to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship strong.
Forgive my frankness but… Seriously Your relationship is not strong. It is not healthy either.
Between us, I bet it’s probably been that way for a while now, right? You see no that you have used all the resources you can, that you have been fighting for far too long? For so long, I’ve been beginning to doubt you’re human. How do you bear all this suffering?
No, you’ve tried everything. You have only one option: to leave.
You let yourself be blinded by your generous heart. Your friends describe you as loving, as a well-awakened person who is aware of the world around her, always there to help others.
You love it because that’s how you’ve always lived, without ever holding back.
You open up to others; you attract people; you never stop worrying about the well-being of others, except that… except that you sometimes get to the point of destroying yourself… and for individuals who don’t even deserve it.
Unfortunately, a person with such a big heart can very quickly end up drained of his substance. Love can accomplish great things, but just because you love doesn’t mean you can change people’s profound nature.
That’s how you fall over and over again into relationships that end up breaking up, breaking you. You continue to love people who betray you, who hurt you, who don’t even treat you like a person who ignores you… And you’re ashamed of it.
What’s wrong with you?
Then you’re going to indulge in the apology. You continue to love but a little by default, by habit. Except that the more time passes, the more the idea makes its way: you have to leave it, you have to leave, you have to think about yourself.
Yes! Yes, I did. But…
You tell yourself that this is not the right time to break up with him when he is in a bad mood because you do not want to make him angrier.
Then, when he’s in a good mood, you’ll think it’s not the right time because you don’t want to spoil this reasonable time.
And you will continue tirelessly. This is not the right time because the holidays are approaching, it’s not the right time because you have to save a little more money and then don’t know where you’re going to stay.
And not today because it’s the anniversary of the death of his favourite artist. Nor tomorrow because it looks like it’s going to rain…
You promise to leave tomorrow; finally not tomorrow, instead of in a week, maybe a month to prepare everything; no but you have to think about it better in fact, let’s say a year maximum…
You live continuously in conflict: when it’s not with him, it’s in your head. You keep finding reasons to stay because it will change, yes, it just takes a little longer…
Unfortunately, this is the most classic and gross mistake a person can make when deciding to stay in a relationship like yours.
You have to accept that the only person you control in this world is yourself.
The other person could promise to change, acknowledge his mistakes. She may even be sincere about her intentions when she states it, but more than likely, things will remain the same, especially if it has made promises in the past that it has not kept.
Change must come from within; It can’t be forced. Only then do things have a chance to work out.
I too made that mistake. I thought my ex was going to change for me; if I continued to support him, I would eventually convince him to change.
I thought he would see how badly he was hurting me and that he would have no choice but to change since he said he loved me.
You can guess what happened next: it never happened, I was wrong all along.
Sometimes our judgment is clouded, and we want to see only someone’s best. Sometimes we are terrified of being alone.
But life is too fragile to settle for an abusive partner, a one-sided connection. It is too fleeting to be with someone who sucks all your energy and happiness into everyday life.
It’s sad, but the reality is that some relationships are just irreparable.
Maybe he loves you too, I won’t judge it, but not the way you need it.
You need someone you are compatible with, someone with the same positive outlook for life and a heart full of love to share. As much love to share as you, especially.
I do not doubt that someone in this world will compliment you instead of shooting you. Someone who will tell you that he loves you and will prove it by deeds instead of someone who repeats it to you out of habit.
Yes, someone down here won’t make you feel useless but will instead comfort you when you feel depressed.
There is someone else who can complement you like never before. As an individual, you have a value. You deserve to be taken care of.
You deserve respect. A smile as soon as you wake up. Happiness. Joy. Sharing. The idea of being in one’s thoughts throughout the day and not just in the lonely hours of the night.
You should be with someone who makes you love yourself, love your days, love your life.
You’re a valuable person. And if you are not treated following this value, you should be strong enough to getaway.
Letting go is not synonymous with weakness.
You are not weak because you are moving away. Sometimes things can’t be fixed, and you don’t have to take that responsibility on your shoulders.
Since you have already accepted that the relationship is toxic, there is no reason to wait any longer to leave. The breakup will hurt, but you will not be able to begin the healing process as long as you stay there.
Do what you have to do. Don’t overthink. Please don’t feel guilty about it.
If it can’t light up your world the way you need it, if it can’t do you good from the inside, if the butterflies in your belly have flown away, it’s because it’s not the right one.
Take your courage with both hands.
You know where all this will lead if you stay together, no matter how many fights or conversations you’ll have on the subject.
He won’t change, and he won’t improve because he knows he has you. He knows that no matter how hard he pushes you to your limits, you’ll always be there.
Because you have a good heart and you care about people, including him. Even when he doesn’t deserve it.
And you’re afraid to start over again because starting over entirely and leaving life, and a person you’re used to is a terrifying thing.
The fear of suffering also holds you back, and I confirm that there is no easy way around them, this fear and suffering.
It’s going to hurt. I agree with that.
You will be afraid of not knowing the feeling of being desired and wanted, not reaching in quality the intimate and close moments that you could share despite everything. Instead of being just a part of your life, these moments have become your whole life.
You’ve forgotten how to live on your own. For yourself.
Overcoming the initial discomfort of being alone is the hardest part, but once you get this step, I promise you, life will become a lot easier.
The lessons you learn along the way will allow you to grow and become a better person.
Live your life 100%, fill it with joy and lightness!
Allow yourself to leave, even if you like it, even if you worry about it. Love is not a reason enough to stay. The various fears (to leave his comfort zone, what will happen to him, to you, …) are not enough reasons to stay either.
I want you to know that you did everything you could to save the relationship.
And now it’s time to save yourself.
I think you know I’m right and for my part, I hate to see you settle for a mediocre life instead of a life filled with pure happiness and pleasure.
No relationship is perfect, but if you love someone who can’t realize the gift you are, you should let go. Yes, it means you’re going to have to give up his body, his kisses, his way of laughing or the little things he does to make you smile.
Because these beautiful little things are overshadowed by more extensive and more painful things, no matter how many laughs and smiles you share, you will always end up empty.
So please listen to me, forgive yourself for this wasted time, but leave, leave now. Live up for your happiness, for your life, for yourself.