How To Combat The Fear Of Being Alone ~ Spot It & Defeat It.
Tips on how to detect this form of psychological discomfort and what to do.
Fear of being alone is one of the most normal psychological phenomena. Even in those people who have many friends and are popular, this is a common cause for concern.
That’s why if you’ve ever come up with the idea of “I’m afraid of being alone even if I have people who love me,” you should know that your case isn’t wholly exceptional; a lot of people feel in a very similar way.
In this case, we will see how to combat the fear of being alone and overcome this fear through new habits that we can introduce little by little in our day to day life.
What is the fear of being alone?
The fear of being alone is based on a series of negative thoughts about what might be your future, which is characterized by isolation and lack of emotional connection with people meaningful to yourself.
Thus, people who present this kind of fear become obsessed with the hypothesis that they are or could become helpless and without the ability to count on someone’s companionship, affection, and understanding.
Signs that give away this form of fear
Some of the warning signs that a person suffers from the fear of being alone are as follows.
1. Need to seek human contact and tempt luck
People who fear the possibility of being left alone tend to try to be in most social events for the better. However, they are not interested in what is offered to them beyond being in touch with other people.
You try to meet new people, to see if someone comes with whom they can connect (either in the relationship or in the realm of friendships).
2. Have a pragmatic view of relationships
Those who do not want to be left alone mainly seek to be with people next to them can spend many moments either by a coincidence of interests or having a similar personality.
The idea is to go to the pragmatic and establish relationships that offer perspectives of stability in the future.
Regardless of whether there is a genuine interest in that person beyond what he knows how to do and what he likes to do.
3. Idea that the family doesn’t count
Many times, people afraid of being alone do not value having family members who love them and are interested in their well-being.
This is usually the case because they consider (wrongly) that these relatives are at their side without having chosen them, simply because the family’s ties have led them to love them virtually unconditionally.
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As if everyone were free to do whatever they wanted except parents, grandparents and grandmothers, uncles and aunts, who are obliged to love those who share their blood.
4. Search for external validation
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From what we have seen, in most cases, those who are afraid of being alone fear being judged negatively by others, which means that many times in front of others, it is not expressed as it is.
In turn, the latter makes you feel more isolated and more in need of establishing meaningful relationships.
What to do to get over it?
Follow these tips to combat the fear of being alone and not letting it determine how you relate to others.
1. Choose quality and non-quantity
Instead of continually attending events that don’t tell you anything, start going to those who have something genuine to offer you.
Sorry to stop worrying about your number of interactions with relatively unknown people will make your social life much more fluid and spontaneous.
2. Stop judging and judging yourself
Many stigmas significantly damage the quality of social relationships and keep us isolated from people who could be significant in our lives if we discovered them.
So don’t cut yourself off when it comes to making plans you’re interested in, even if those links outside the social circles you usually move in might be worth criticism.
The judgment of someone who doesn’t think it’s right that you’re going with those you’re interested in shouldn’t be relevant to you.
Besides, to get this recommendation to take effect, you should be the first person to stop judging others by any excuse because you will mature to the point that you are criticized for certain things that will seem ridiculous.
3. Demystifies rejection
Rejection is simply the lack of interest in having a certain kind of relationship with you. It doesn’t mean that the other person hates you, or that you’re not interested at all, or that there are reasons why their judgment about who you are is right or more relevant than other people who care a lot about you.
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4. Learn to love loneliness
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being alone, with no people around. These moments can be exploited in many ways.
We have a more remarkable ability to choose what to do because we do not depend on the intentions and preferences.
So spend that time reading, meditating, exercising, or any of the hundreds of activities whose benefits will extend beyond that time and place and make you gain experience in something you like to progress through.
In short, to overcome the fear of being alone, it serves both to love loneliness and to stop obsessing about not remaining in solitude.
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