A Letter For The Man Who Didn’t Know How To Love Me ~
I guess when we go through a breakup, the first thing we do is look for the culprits.
In this case, and not to put aside this important tradition, I would like to blame my own innocence for falling in love with you the way I did.
I never imagined that a feeling of this intensity would develop within me.
It was almost like watching a small plant growing up, slowly, frame by frame and soon face this little one had become a tree.
Despite the slowness, I could not understand the warning signs that were given around me. Slowly I began to drown in the depths of your gaze and your silences made me increasingly anxious.
But you were untouched by my situation. You never cared even to ask if I am OK, or if anything is wrong? Is that how love is supposed to be? Is that how you behave with someone you claim to love?
I suppose it was this that hurt me the most: the lack of words along with the expectations and dreams that I slowly knitted in my hands.
It hurts me that even though I could feel the truth in my body and even in the cold, I felt in my bones; you could never tell me.
For us, there were no goodbyes or heartbreaking words. You just vanished, as if you had suddenly had the ability to make yourself one with the air you breathed.
You never admitted the real reason, and that’s why many nights I keep speculating if it was my fault.
Today, and as I write this, I’ve decided that if anyone will be guilty, that will be you with your lack of maturity and your inability to say things by name.
Your silence was constant almost from the beginning, and the only times we connected was when you decided you finally wanted to kiss me.
I could never understand why you never talk to me freely; you used to be silent whenever I would try to get into a conversation.
Talking to you was like talking to a wall. I had a feeling of being neglected completely.
I never got to see more of you than that. I think I was always waiting for that moment when you would finally take off your mask and reveal myself to your true self.
I figured that would be the moment when we’d realize we were for each other because I’d be the only one able to understand and help you. I was naïve.
It was time to make a decision, and I finally decided to let go of your memory. Your presence was no longer part of my daily life months ago.
Now, I think I have understood that we both deserved the same kind of happiness, that love is not and can never be a passive or one-sided emotion.
I guess it’s for this very reason that I refuse to say that what we had was “love.” If I can talk about love, and if I may, I came to the same conclusion as many others before me: that the love that really matters is self-love and that loving oneself before others never go out of style.
I know the man I am writing this letter to will never read it. Or maybe I can’t say anything anymore.
Regardless of what happens, I hope you can draw a lesson from this experience the same way I did. After all, everything that happens to us in life is a lesson we must treasure.
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In case you had someone who didn’t love you or didn’t know how to love you. Here are 5 points for you to forget about a person who never loved you:
Remember that being in love with a person has nothing to do with love.
It is about infatuation, which is a pre-phase and very different from love. Don’t consider infatuation to be love.
Forget absurd ideas like the half-orange.
There are no orange stockings; there is no person 100% right for you. And in the same way, you will never be 100% right for anyone.
Come to the rational conclusion that you have to forget that person.
It is important not to be left with doubts halfway and to be clear that you want to forget. That’s the only way to get your peace back and look ahead in life.
You can’t be happy by remembering someone who has left you and never loved you. Memories haunt, and you need to make sure that those memories don’t make your life and you restless.
Make a list of 5 things you don’t like about that person.
Since the process of infatuation is basically a very positive estimate of that person’s value, seeing the negative things can help. Making a list of things which you never liked about them will help you forget them faster.
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Wait for time to pass.
Just as you can’t pass the flu in fifteen minutes, irrespective of how much medicine you take, recovering from any addiction, and falling in love, requires a little time.
While forgetting someone who loved you at some point will be tough, forgetting a person who didn’t love you shouldn’t be that tough.
Get one thing clear; someone who didn’t love you; doesn’t deserve your attention and your time. So, be practical and lead your life with no bitterness and be happy.
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